I AM A PARANOIAC

Morning_Schizophrenia_by_kosmobil

I am not crazy… I am not crazy… I…

Am I?  Is that it?  Am I completely fucking insane?
Maybe I just need to get some sleep.  Yeah… that’s it.

Paranoid

Acting weird?  I’m not acting weird.  Fuck you!  You’re acting weird.

DSC_0461

Pace the floor; check the window
Anxious… can’t look at a mirror right now.
Really scared of who might be looking back.
Am I being followed?  That guy… I saw him walk by the house already.
Now I’m sure of it…  He’s watching me.  What the fuck did I do?
Overly suspicious of everyone now.  That van’s been outside for two days.
Is the door locked?  Oh shit, I’m losing it.  Where are my god damn pills?
All I can think is RUN! but, I just… I…
Can’t do it.  I can’t move.  I’m petrified.

paranoia

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About John Chronikal

John Chronikal is a blogger, storyteller, poet, artist, composer, and songwriter. He loves to drink bourbon and write things that make his poor grandmother cringe. He is a gigantic man –– his bear hugs can crush bones –– but he is a gentle giant. Give him bourbon and chocolate and he will be your bestest friend forever. View all posts by John Chronikal

2 responses to “I AM A PARANOIAC

  • poesravenlady

    You’ve given a eloquent glimpse into the cruelty of the mind’s trappings… well done!

    • John Chronikal

      I thought you’d like this one. 😀 Thank you! This came about over the night, during my 1AM surge of energy – the “second wind” I suddenly get each night that somehow manages to propel me fumbling through the morning like a drunk baby until I gather the courage to attempt to make coffee. It’s a pretty rough lifestyle, certainly taking its’ tole on me. I even tried a sleep aid last night! My brain was like, “Noop!”

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