Alright, class… it’s time for a quick recap on the last
four six years.
Ahh, college… a time of growth and experimentation; when baby bird flees the nest, learning to fly on their own for the first time. No parents, no rules. Well, except there ARE rules. Lots of rules. And the dreaded “R” word. Not rape. The other one… Responsibility. Yeah, that’s it. And there is also temptation… (*cue dramatic music*)
There are many acceptable paths to “successfully” getting that coveted piece of paper with your name on it; you know – the one that’s still in the manilla envelope, crammed into a box in the bottom of your closet? Point is… actually, that pretty much sums it up.
This list was originally going to be, “101+ things I learned in college”… But after I started ransacking my closet looking for old textbooks – and texting my friends to ask what the hell happened while we were in college – I decided it might be better to do the abridged version. (bad sign?)
Anyway, enjoy this list of wisdom from a guy who went to school long enough to get his PhD, and only came out with a BA in Music Business.
Beware: NSFW. Mom and Dad, please don’t read this. I swear, it’s not all
true about me. Remember, I somehow managed to survive, and I’m a wiser man because of the stupid mistakes I’ve made. Plus, if I was the only one who’d ever done these things, the world (or, college – at least) would be a woefully boring place. It’s all in good fun.
In no particular order:
- You don’t pick your major, your major picks you.
- Always keep a stash of Ramen Noodles in the pantry.
- Cell phones like to die in the middle of the night while you sleep. Buy a good alarm clock.
- Parties are great – just keep it to the weekends, champ.
- (Speaking of which…) Liquor before beer.
- (Oh yeah, and also…) don’t chase vodka with water. Just, don’t do it.
- If someone challenges you to a game of Roh-Sham-Boh, just say “no” and walk away.
- Fraternities are for jackasses. Yes, this makes me a bonafide jackass. (Tell us something we didn’t know…)
- ^^^ I second that. ^^^
- If your buddies try to talk you into stealing road signs in the middle of the night, just say…
“Fuck yeah!” It’s fun as shit. It’s especially awesome if there’s an “I-69” highway in your state. Thanks, KY Board of Transportation. Continue reading